Coming Soon-ish
Exit Interview Oracle™
Because Burning Bridges Should Be Performance Art
Currently channeling the collective rage of a thousand exit interviews into something that won't get you sued.
The Oracle is consulting with employment lawyers, therapists, and that one coworker who actually said what everyone was thinking during the all-hands meeting.
Soon you'll be able to:
- ✨ Turn "my boss is a nightmare" into "I'm pursuing leadership alignment opportunities"
- ✨ Transform "this place is chaos" into "I thrive in more structured environments"
- ✨ Convert "I hate everyone here" into "I'm seeking a more collaborative culture fit"
The truth, but make it LinkedIn-appropriate.
*This is satirical career commentary, not actual exit interview advice. Please consult with someone who hasn't been hurt by corporate America before making any career decisions.